May has been the month for humblebragging. This month I seem to have run into a lot of people that just can’t come right out and actually brag about their good fortune. Better yet, stop bragging and show a bit of humility.
Below are some of the things that I have actually heard people “brag” about this month. I have also included a “non-brag version”, which would be my preference.
(To the optometrist) – I can’t wear glasses, my eyelashes scrape the lenses.
Better: My eyelashes are really long, I need contact lenses.
(In a restaurant to a friend) – My father said I can only choose between a Porsche or a Ferrari for my graduation gift.
Better: My father bought me a Porsche for graduation.
(To anyone that would listen) – I wish I could fit into junior sizes, the styles in the girls department are just too young looking.
Better: These clothes are just too young looking, I need to go to another store.
(In a restaurant to a friend) – My husband won’t go away for the weekend with his friends because he says that he just can’t stand being away from me for even one night.
Better: My husband should go away for the weekend and have some fun with his friends.
(To a mattress salesman) – I can’t sleep on my side, my hip bones jam into the box spring.
Better: I need a really thick mattress.
(To a store clerk) – I don’t know which cleaners work best, my housekeeper usually picks them out.
Better: Which cleaners would you recommend?
Have you heard any humblebragging this month? Share below!